by S.V. Farnsworth

            I see life in metaphors. I recently met and subsequently read a dozen brief memoirs of Vietnam Veteran Ronald C. Mosbaugh who served as a Corpsman (medic) on a thirteen month tour in country. The accounts he gave were therapy for his PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and a means to achieving some degree of PTG(post traumatic growth). Inside the accounts the details were astounding, but one account stood out in its detail and its haunting effect on the man who wrote it. More emotion came through, because he still doesn’t understand it, and that speaks truth to me.

            His memory of two “buddies” assigned to his platoon where one was shot and the other led an enraged charge on a small village where every living thing was killed really moved me, because of the way an older man was killed. “What does it take to kill an old man?” was spoken by the soldier who killed the older Vietnamese man. The words echoed into the present and after reading more about veterans committing suicide I pose the question, “What does it take to kill an old man?”, well, I think it is his younger self leveling his weapon on his older self and pulling the trigger. The expectation that age and wisdom should be able to solve the puzzles of the past dog the older man until he dodges the figurative bullet with something more concrete and ends his fight or flight panic mode with suicide. There is no escaping from one’s self, but resolution is possible.

            I posit this metaphor. The “buddy” killed in action, the enraged friend leading the charge, the followers who also committed the act of vengeance, and the old man who took three hits to kill and died without a word spoken are all the same man who dies today from his psychological wounds. I think that’s why the details of the atrocity, stood out in Corpsman Mosbaugh’s mind and remains unresolved today…he is all those men and needs to survive the mental bullet that his own mind fired all those years ago. Contrary to human instinct, this kind of mental bullet cannot be survived by dodging it, because no one can run forever. One must stand like a man at a mark and be prepared to take the hit, though the impact of facing it is to heal, not to maim, though, one cannot fully realize that until he accepts it.

            Corpsman Mosbaugh seems to feel responsible for all of his experiences in Vietnam, but the burden is not his alone, and he had little if any control over any of what happened; he can hand it to the Lord. He has the opportunity to kneel before his Father in Heaven washed clean by the blood of Christ. If blood requires blood, then let it be the blood of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ our Lord.

Read Corpsman Mosbaugh’s memoirs at www.GhostBattalion.org/DocMosbaugh.html

by S.V. Farnsworth

            I can’t stomach humor at anyone’s expense but my own. I use humor sparingly, and often to diffuse a turn in a conversation that leads to someone being uncomfortable. I prefer guffaws that involve body language that says “preposterous!” or at least chuckles including a shake of the head. It isn’t that I’m being dishonest, because I’m often being perfectly honest in ways that most people are unable to dare, but it contradicts the person’s high opinion of me in a humbling way as if I’m saying, “We’re all human so relax.”

            I don’t see self-deprecating humor in the public forum often. Carry Grant employed it in a masterful and charming way. Truth be known, one cannot use it without first being respected or at least admired. It comes from a position of strength from one who has self-worth and confidence. It is a leadership skill. It is generous and compassionate. What has happened to our society where we don’t see those qualities in many individuals in the public eye? Forget the public eye, how many friends do you have with that kind of personality? How old are these people? I know a precious and beloved few and they have nearly all passed away from old age.

            The new generation gives me hope. I see in some of them a trend toward goodness that is taught in their youth and confidence earned through service to the Lord Jesus Christ. I see generous individuals with much to give who dare to share, not just a post on public media, but of themselves and their faith in God. Appreciation of self is linked with the love of God and leads to loving others without reservation, because one understands that God loves each of us with the same intensity. He values our individuality and guides us in equity. In that way, He holds no judgment of our character and quirks; so long as we are not sinning, we are appreciated for our unique abilities and viewed as beautiful. God commanded us to be one, not the same and I am certainly grateful for that.